Isabella is in a state. To my eyes she is an attractive, intelligent young woman with everything going for her. She has come to see me in order to understand why she has such low self-esteem. Even her close friends don’t get it; great career, fit and active lifestyle, bright, easygoing personality but terrible self-worth. To others it looks like she has everything going for her. She has tried various forms of emotional therapy and counselling but nothing changes.
My assistant Bryony, ever intuitive and observant, has already tuned in to the reason for her appointment.
“I think you both might be making an appearance at court today”, she whispers, smiling, as Isabella enters the shop.
I take longer with my pre-journey interview than normal – with Bryony’s insight I know I will need more ‘back story’ than usual.
Isabella shares her life story with me; she knows she has a good life but lately her feelings of lack of worthiness have become more acute. They have been compounded by a recent abusive relationship. She was attracted to a handsome young European who had little difficulty seducing her with his charm and quick wit. However, once it was clear she had fallen for him and their relationship was consummated, he started to treat her badly.
His quick wit turned to cruel sarcasm with relentless put-downs about her looks, her figure and her weight, which are of course just fine.
And yet she is still irresistibly attracted to him. She was unable to leave him. Their separation was caused when he was called back to Europe on family business. She confides that she is pining for him.
I have heard enough. We lay in my crystal mandala, I invoke for guidance and protection, and we close our eyes. At my suggestion Isabella says, “Body, take me to the moment this all started.”
Immediately we are in ancient Rome. The enticing, rich and complex smell of good cooking permeates the air and there is order in the busy streets around us. A glance at nearby buildings, the opulence of their architecture and the well kept soldiers uniforms confirm my knowing, as Isabella also realises where and when we are.
It’s okay, no one can see us, soak it up. I telepath, I really like this period.
I allow myself a moment of indulgence as I look at the personalities going about their daily business, oblivious to our presence. Occasionally I play a game with myself in our present time of seeing people not in their smart suits and modern work gear, but in clothes of another time period. Everyone seems to fit in somehow, doing similar things to their present-day activities.
Let your heart lead you – where do we need to be?
I give her time. A first experience in another time period can be overwhelming. Anyway I am enjoying just being here again.
This building here – let’s go in. I follow her into an imposing civic hall.
Isabella leads the way into a meeting room. There are plans on a large marble table and important looking men in fine togas are discussing improvements to the city.
Suddenly, a man in green rushes in and stabs one of the men to death. It all happens very quickly, and there is chaos as he dashes out, dropping the bloodied knife in the floor.
I understand what is happening but I need to help Isabella get it without telling her.
Do you recognise anyone here?
The guy who got stabbed – I think that is my boyfriend now.
Are sure? Ask your body to show you again. This drama will replay itself for you.
She does, and second time around she gets it.
The assassin – that is not me, but I am connected to him somehow…
Oh no! I hired him.
I can almost see cogs in her brain moving slowly into gear as she tracks her and her boyfriend’s dance together through time and space – many opportunities to resolve this incident, non-fulfilled. The magnitude of her actions cuts deeply into her psyche and she collapses into grief.
It is okay. We can fix this today. I reassure her, a tad optimistically, but I need her to get a grip on herself.
I call on the man she had assassinated and help with their reconciliation.
I ask her boyfriend if everything is now settled. His response is just what I do not need to hear.
Unfortunately not. This is a karmic issue and is out if my hands.
What does that mean? Isabella asks perplexed.
Your boyfriend has forgiven you but we need to appeal to a higher authority to finally clear this up. Otherwise this dysfunctional relationship will continue. In fact, things could get worse. She nods.
We have the right to appeal the judgement of the karmic court and as they sit in no time-space we can have a hearing immediately. Are you okay with that?
Who? I sense things are moving a little too quickly for Isabella.
Compose yourself and please be restrained and respectful.
I connect with my inner barrister as I plead Isabella’s case, standing in an empty courtroom, in front of a dais where several masters listen patiently to my appeal for clemency.
To sum up, I respectfully request that the karma attached to this relationship now be declared clear, for the divine highest good of all.
The court has a brief discussion.
We declare the karma not to be cleared.
In every other case I have pleaded for clients successfully, and I lose my cool for a moment.
Why not? She has been forgiven. There must be a way out of this… Then, remembering where I am, Your Lordships.
Providing she apologises to him in person, in your time-space, the karma will be considered clear. She must kneel before him and beg his forgiveness.
But he lives in Crete! And he is the one who has been abusing me! He will think I have totally lost the plot. Isabella cannot restrain herself.
The court’s decision is final.
We must accept their decision. I counsel Isabella as I respectfully take our leave of the court and bring us back to our present time.
“They must be bloody well joking!” She sits up, a picture of runny mascara and mixed emotions.
“It is your decision, I know what I would do”.
We chat for a while until I am certain she grasps the importance her choices. However I can see she is unable to accept the logic of the court. She will not be apologising to her boyfriend in person, in the near future. I usher her out.
Bryony looks up from her crystal polishing.
“How was your day in court?”
“Not good. She has a great opportunity to step off the wheel of karma but she won’t take it”. I am crestfallen.
“Oh well, you did your best. Win some – lose some. Cup of tea?”
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