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3 ways to combat loneliness

In Coaching, Counselling and Personal Development by Tony J. Selimi1 Comment

Loneliness affects many people, at different times and to varying degrees in their lives. Here are 3 principles to overcome it.


More with less; factors increasing loneliness

Living in the era of perpetual globalisation and rapid technological advancements affects our perception of the world and increases the rate at which we are expected to do more things with less time. This fast-paced, hyperkinetic way of living impacts our well-being, our mental health, and the way in which we interact with one another.

Our survival instincts start to be triggered more often, each time our inner being is out of its natural state of balance. Fear of failure, rejection, and of not being good enough can take over. Many of us end up experiencing low levels of self-respect, self-confidence, and self-worth, which impact our intrinsic ability for social inclusion, connection, and relationship building.

Loneliness: its triggers and shapes

Living life in these disempowered states can prevent us  from being able to tackle head-on the many life adversities and overwhelming number of challenges presented by the environment in which we all live. Many of us expose ourselves to situations, people, and experiences that evoke feelings of loneliness. If this inner void, emptiness and discord is allowed to dwell in your being, it can build momentum. It can grow even bigger, and, before long, spiral out of control.

Other factors to watch out for that may trigger loneliness are: loss of a loved one, relationship break down, and marital disintegration. 

Loneliness appears in many shapes and forms, including transitional, acute, and chronic. The one that is most commonly experienced is transitional. This type of loneliness frequently appears in an acute form and is often an impermanent condition.

The intensity of the feeling of loneliness varies from person to person and is unique to each one of us. It is commonly linked to the development of our mental capacity of self-defensive mechanisms and resistance towards the strong psycho-neurological stimuli. If it is not addressed, it can turn into a chronic condition that can dominate our consciousness and deteriorate our psychosomatic well-being.

Life stress and loneliness

There are many ways that loneliness can be fostered. Some people may be dealing with stressful situations that shake their personal equilibrium and contaminate their mental homeostasis. If the stress of daily life is not acknowledged, it can become a major vector that brakes through mental frontiers and make our identity structure vulnerable and prone to loneliness and social isolation.

There are countless other forms of loneliness associated with a vast number of external triggers. Each deceptive feeling that resides in each form is like a camouflage, a hidden temptation to our senses, and a mirage for our perceptions that very often many cannot even recognise. If it penetrates your inner world, mental stability is endangered and it’s possible you’ll embark on a long emotional train ride called solitude.

Impact on physical health

Loneliness leads to multiple biochemical changes in our somatic system. It activates the process of oxidative stress. This consequently leads towards inflammation and further release of countless number of stress radicals. These chemical substances can cause morphological damage, mainly to the stress-exposed organs, such as the digestive and blood circulatory systems.

In its chronic form, loneliness contributes to the changes in our physiological homeostasis by triggering excessive production of the stress related hormones, such as cortisol, and releasing them into the blood stream. This leads to possible somatic disorders such as high blood pressure, heart failure, diabetes, and obesity.

Our cognitive capability is also impacted by loneliness. It blocks the production of endorphins in our brain. When this happens, we start to experience feelings of anxiety, psychological intolerance, and psychological vulnerability. Lack of dopamine and endorphins in our brain are related to a high incidence of depression, OCD, emotional distortion, sleep disorders, and other damaging conditions. This vicious cycle impacts our quality of life and can shorten our longevity.

Alleviating loneliness

Here are three vital principles you can use to alleviate loneliness:

  1. First and foremost is recognising the form loneliness takes in your life. This will assist you to identify the specific root cause/s of your loneliness. One way to do this is by using proper techniques of autogenetic mental training and meditations for mental purification and cognitive awakening.
  2. Secondly, tackle your loneliness by embodying love. Learn to love the unlovable. Once you recognise the form loneliness takes in your life, infuse love in those areas, situations, and people. Learn how to love and appreciate yourself and how to embrace loneliness as a part of you. Instead of evoking anger and fear to combat it, give it love and bring gratitude to the things, situations, or people that may be the triggers. Tackling it in this way will help you develop new ways to manage and cope with it effortlessly.
  3. Finally, use your natural abilities that inspire you and that teach you new ways to boost your inner mental persistence, focus, and stability. Fuel your body with the desire to accelerate your human potential with the will to succeed and with the tenacity required to extirpate loneliness.
About the author

Tony J. Selimi

Tony J. Selimi is internationally known as a human behaviour, cognition, and emotional intelligence expert. He is a keynote speaker, entrepreneur, and the creator of the TJS Evolutionary Method. He is an award-winning and international best-selling author, and teaches self-mastery for the acceleration of human potential. www.tonyselimi.com

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  1. I came out of an unhealthy relationship just over 12 months ago. I now literally don’t have anyone in my life. How can I stop feeling lonely when I really don’t have anyone?

    I find the part about chronic loneliness can cause anxiety, high depression OCD and emotional distortion as 4 weeks ago I tried to end my life and spent time in a mental health ward.
    I’m getting help with all the symptoms but I’d love to feel like I wasn’t alone

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