Back of man, with hands on a cliff

Angry and isolated

In Insight and Experience, People, Biographies and Interviews by Hong CurleyLeave a Comment

Hong Curley answers readers’ questions

Dear Hong

I used to be a playful person when I was young, but I find myself becoming a very angry person now I am in my 40s. I also feel really isolated and lonely even though I have a loving family around me. Is anger the cause of my sense of isolation?



Dear Jasper

Anger is the effect of some hidden deep hurt. Anger can cause a sense of isolation due to sense of guilt and shame. However, the sense of isolation often is the cause of anger.

Fear of not being good enough, fear of being abandoned, fear of not having enough, lack of security and fear of not being loved and accepted all collectively contribute to the outburst of anger. However, at the deepest level, anger is not a psychological issue, but a spiritual one. It is caused by the sense of disconnection from your core, from your deep sense of wonder as a spiritual being and where you are from; it is caused by your confusion about your purpose – why you are here, what you are here to do.

Just like a branch that has been cut off from the tree trunk cannot survive for too long, a human being cannot live in happiness and peace without the intimate connection to his divine source – the ultimate source of spiritual existence.

There is no one who does not seek to become one with the Divine, for that is your spiritual purpose. If you fall out of alignment from this purpose, you suffer, you anger, you blame, and you are scared. But, having fallen, you may begin to see the light, to be aware enough to make your ego be at the service of your spirit, rather than the other way around.

The anger and the sense of isolation can be transformed into opportunity whereby you may come to conscious oneness with your higher self.

This evolution process requires you to drop the weight of your past conditioning and become willing to let go of your self-pity and complaints about your feeling.

The moment you surrender to the divine process at every level of your being, the miracle happens and the anger disappears. Most wonderful of all, you would realise that the neurotic suffering and the anger which had for so long oppressed you has revealed to you its own purpose. It has finally forced you to abandon the ego as the centre and rise to meet your spiritual calling.

I would suggest you to go to my website to learn more. There are plenty of free resources to help you. The chapter in my book, ‘Overcoming anger and addiction’, would be a tremendous help to you because it provides readers all the powerful tools to transform anger into peace and happiness.

Good luck to you Jasper

Hong Curley


Hong is a Chinese medical doctor who specialised in psychological healing before she retired. She earned her expert status from having conducted over 38,000 consultations. She is author of Freedom to Love. 

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