We feel joy for our family members and friends when happy relationships develop, they receive a financial windfall, a much longed-for baby arrives, etc. When we are close to others it is inevitable that we are going to feel what they feel, whether life hands them lemons or lemonade.
But what happens when they go through the difficult times? The end of a marriage, a,falling out with a loved one, a suicide attempt, a debilitating illness, becoming homeless…we can be thrown into their pain almost as acutely as if it were our own.
Empathy in our relationships – four seasons in one day
Those who play a major part in our lives, who make up the fabric of our stories, will always experience highs and lows. And while we are in the process of becoming detached from ego and living from the place of love; human dramas continue to unfold all around us. Living from the heart, evolving closer towards who we really are (love) somehow creates more sensitivity to the vibrations around us.
We can no longer ignore the pain of people and the planet or dismiss the awful or the incomprehensible. We run the gauntlet of human emotions so intensely sometimes that it feels as though we live through four emotional seasons in one day! We can breathe a sigh of relief when we return to the comfort of our own home and be grateful that it’s not happening to us. But what do we do with the residual emotions that have probably been triggered from our own similar experiences?
A mindfulness practice becomes the foundation of moving into a more peaceful way of being. Starting the day with spiritual study, prayer, and meditation is food for the soul and calms the senses. While we all have the choice about how we do this, it is vital that we use something to remind us we are one with All That Is and we connect with that self and the ancient wisdom still held within our cells when we go into the stillness.
Being able to ‘let it go’ will release us immeasurably. David Hawkins’ book Letting Go is a great resource for this. In this book you will learn how to be with your emotions safely. How to acknowledge their presence, and then quietly, without drama, let them go. To deny they are there, to try and suppress or repress them causes them to materialise in our physical bodies as illness of some kind. Learning the great ‘letting go’ art will transform our lives.
Evaluating carefully and with conscious awareness about where to spend emotional and physical energy is also very important. Cancel a planned lunch, ask that friend to arrange for someone else to drive him or her to an appointment, turn the computer/telephone/mobile off and watch an uplifting movie, walk in nature, or have a massage. Ask someone for what you need. All these (and others) will boost us physically and emotionally and we can choose to do so without guilt.
Looking after ourselves while we are looking after others will keep us focused and available, strong and inspired. How better to help others than this?
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