There are many times in our lives when we are faced with situations that simply seem too difficult to tackle. We look at them and then make a decision to put them into the ‘too hard’ basket, and maybe go back to them another day when we are feeling a lot more confident or resourceful. I remember one such occasion when I was 18 years old and I had to make a decision whether or not to go back to college after dropping out the year before. I had been studying dress design to become a fashion illustrator and by the last quarter of my first year I was totally disillusioned with the world I was entrenched in and decided it simply wasn’t for me. I had to let go of my dream to become a professional artist.
It all seemed too hard and so I put my dream to one side and my life took a whole different turn. Soon afterwards I returned to the country in Northern NSW and found a job to pay my way until I was married to a grazier a few years later. Seventeen years, numerous droughts and floods and three children later, I found myself finally giving into my creative urge to be a professional artist and so I put my best foot forward and gave it all I had. Five other local artists and I had taken three months to create an artwork and were thrilled with the result, receiving rave reviews. Our combined work was taken to the city and displayed and maintained in a major art gallery for six weeks; an installation requiring more than a week to construct.
Soon after hard-earned and unfamiliar glory I returned home to the country and remembered the words of a renowned installation artist, Lyndal Milani, who had guided us through the process – she told me it was my opportunity to make a name for myself, my chance to finally make it in the art world, and a large part of me really wanted to take it. However, there was something else happening inside of me that I could not explain to anyone. I had another call, a bigger dream that I couldn’t even imagine or describe to myself; a far deeper and more intense yearning that required even greater risks.
Feeling incredibly courageous after the success with the artwork, I knew that if I walked away from the familiar world I knew as a sixth generation farmer-grazier and followed the call within me there would be hard times, but that it would be worth the journey. Keep in mind that at the time I didn’t have a clue what any of that meant. I only knew that I had to leave my beloved country life and move into the city a long way away from all that was familiar to me in order for my soul to be at peace. Before I left I set up four pyres made from old fence posts and burnt them in a way of saying thanks to the sacred energy of the land that my family had been nurtured by for so many generations.
Fifteen years later I look back and I see myself as a woman who was not prepared to ‘settle’. Brave but fragile in health; courageous yet also sensitive and terrified of the unknown – a woman who knew that she deserved to be happy and free to be her creative self; a woman with an ocean of love and kindness to share. Now I find myself, as this woman still, looking at the vision board for this year that I have just completed and which I excitedly look at every day to guide me consciously on my journey. Filled with pictures and words describing vibrant life, joy and hope for now and the future, it is supported at the bottom by symbols which give the clear message of the absolute necessity to have a strong foundation of good health and self care to sustain us into the future.
The world now, and as depicted in my vision board as a mother, lover, and shamanic healer and trainer, is far removed from the glamorous world of a successful artist or fashion designer. The incredible gifts given to me during my own creation have been shared with and handed on time and time again to others who walk the shamanic and healing path. The call I had to follow in total trust has led me to a place of great love and respect for all living creatures. My discovery through this – there are no limits to who I am and who I can become or what I can do; I believe in myself and trust in my journey.
It takes courage to believe in yourself and trust in your journey, but we do that unconsciously all the time. There is no guarantee that when we prepare to travel somewhere we will actually get to our destination, but that doesn’t stop us.
So I ask you how long it is since you last closed your eyes and travelled inside, allowing your rich inner world to guide you to where your soul yearns to take you. You will know where that is when you get there by the way your heart pounds with love, gratitude and joy for simply being alive. Your heart will be filled with light, and words will not be enough to describe how you feel. And just for a brief moment you will remember who you really are, and that you have the right to feel this way; we all do. This is the place were the sun meets the earth in the centre of our being, and heavy raindrops expose and free the seed inside hardened pods, like honest tears that allow us to keep our hearts open. This is the place of dreams beyond our wildest imagination. This is the place that houses the heart of our soul; the place of pure bliss. This is home.
Heather Price is a writer, shamanic healing practitioner and trainer, community service provider and ceremonial holder, and a wellbeing consultant for corporate and business. She shares her sacred shamanic teachings in Australia and internationally through her vast travels, social media, and blog radio show. Heather resides in Brisbane.
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