Change the meaning – change everything

Change the meaning – change everything

In Insight and Self Awareness by Julie Ann Cairns6 Comments

Julie’s shock discovery after the death of her father leads her to self-reflection and a spiritual journey.


My Dad died from Alzheimer’s recently, and I found out 2 hours after the funeral that he’d changed his will and disowned me.

Whoa. I had some major processing to do about that!

It felt like a pretty big kick in the teeth, and I wasn’t sure how to deal with it. First I had to clear the shock. Then, I had to work through what it meant to me.

I’ve recovered from some pretty big stuff in the past, and over the years I’ve gained many tools for healing and working on my mindset. So I tried to bring all of my psychological understanding and skills to the problem. I know that when I hit a major stumbling block in my life, usually the inner shifts that work best for me to get me out of my funk is to look at reframing the meaning of an event. It’s less a question of what I should DO differently, and more a question of what I should BELIEVE differently.

I knew that I needed to reframe the meaning of what had happened. As Victor Frankl points out in his famous book Man’s Search for Meaning we’re able to change our feelings about a situation, and increase our resilience to just about anything (including surviving a concentration camp, like he did) by changing what we believe a thing MEANS.

For example, it simply wasn’t helpful for me to believe that I was somehow NOT okay, or that I was a bad daughter… and that’s why my dad disowned me. I did consider it as a possibility, but I examined my actions in life and I felt that I’d always done my best to be good to him, even though he was not always a good parent, or a good protector, or even always kind to me.

Reframing beliefs

Reframe number 1, was for me to accept that I’m okay as a person in spite of this unfortunate situation. I shouldn’t blame myself.

It also wasn’t helpful for me to believe that he was a bad person. He was flawed, for sure. But the main thing I had to keep in mind was that he had dementia, so he was not well when he decided to disown me.

So reframe number 2, was to accept that he couldn’t be held responsible for those actions either, as hurtful as they were. I shouldn’t blame him.

These reframes did help, but they still left me feeling very sad… even if no one was to blame, the situation still sucked big time. Eventually I had to admit that the sadness was dogging me, and I was slipping into a bit of depression about it.

I felt like I needed a higher perspective, a more powerful reframe than just no one’s to blame in order to get past it.

A journey of souls

I started re-reading a beautiful book called A Journey of Souls by Michael Newton PhD. In it, Dr Newton describes the results of decades of regression hypnosis sessions he conducted on thousands of subjects, which allowed him to create a map of the ‘life between lives’.

According to A Journey of Souls, we are eternal soul beings who incarnate on this Earth plane in order to learn lessons, for the purpose of our soul evolution. In between our lives, we go back to the spirit realm to review our latest incarnation and to plan for the next one.

We choose where and when we will incarnate next, who our family will be including our parents, and we even select the most probable significant life events that we hope will allow us to test our spiritual understandings and spur on our continued growth and evolution as a spiritual being.

It’s an incredible book! Actually, there are three books in the series and they are all fascinating. If you are sceptical about any of this, I get it! Just reserve your judgment until you have read at least the first book in the series.
I re-read all three books in the series. I kind of inhaled them.

Life between lives

Then I decided to find a ‘Life Between Lives’ regression hypnotherapist (a special hypnosis technique developed by the author, Michael Newton PhD, which has been taught to other hypnotherapists through his institute) and have my own session. I went onto his institute’s website to find a local therapist trained in his techniques.

My ‘Life between Lives’ session was 4 hours long. It was amazing!

During my session, I remembered visiting the spirit realm after my most recent past life, where I met with my soul guide and teachers, with my council of elders, and with my soul group. I realised what some of my gifts are, and how I have been developing them in my incarnations here on Earth. I got a deep sense of my soul’s purpose.

It was a mammoth session and I’m still digesting it all. But I finally feel that I have the higher level perspective I needed to be able to pull out of my funk.

And that perspective is:

My soul chose to come here, now, in order to learn.
I chose my family.
I chose many of my life experiences and tests, especially the early ones and including the hard ones.
I still have free will… especially with respect to how I respond to challenges.
I am an eternal spirit soul, having a temporary human experience for the purpose of my soul evolution and growth.
I am okay.
My spirit, and everyone else’s spirit, is of the same loving essence.
Mistakes are not eternal. Love is. Forgiveness is.
I am safe because nothing can harm my Eternal soul.
I am guided.
I am loved.
In fact, I am LOVE.
I feel like I’ve known a lot of this stuff for a while, but during my session I had a more direct and visceral experience of the truth of it.
So… I’m still on my journey. I’m still learning. Stuff happens, and I face challenges. That’s why I came here! It’s all part of my evolution. And who knows when that will end?
I might as well relax and enjoy the process!

About the author

Julie Ann Cairns

Julie Ann Cairns is the author of the top selling Hay House book 'The Abundance Code: How to Bust the 7 Money Myths for a Rich Life Now', and the director and producer of the documentary of the same name, 'The Abundance Code'. Julie Ann's life mission is to empower people to live an abundant life free from false beliefs, to make a shift to the abundance mindset and seek joint solutions to the most pressing challenges facing our planet.

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    1. 6-13-2020

      Dear Julie Cairns:

      Wow! This really resonates with me! I will have to read Newtons book now. I came to this article looking to find if you had written anything else other than The Abundance Code. I saw you in a video on Gaia & felt a connection with you. When you spoke, it was as if you were speaking directly to me. When I read this article, you describe (from Newtons book) exactly my spiritual beliefs that I have just come to on my own thinking & meditation. My belief that I chose my path to learn specific things has been an amazing tool to keep me focused, on track, and unable to linger/waller in “what ifs” long enough to bring me down. It’s almost like I have a reason to stop & celebrate because I know that I “chose” these things/path/hardships to learn/become the being I am today & am continuing to become! It is very powerful!

      You are among the few I aspire to one day meet in person, and have the opportunity to graze with. That would bless me! Until then, you be blessed, kindred spirit, on your journey & may you live, learn, & grow in love, light, & joy!


      Florida, USA 🇺🇸

  1. I have read Michael Newton‘s books several times they gave me some of the best information about soul’s journey and the meaning of it all. I’ve not had a regression but I’ve gotten information about some some of my past lives. Julie- did you receive any information in your lives between lives regression as to the relationship with your father and while he disowned you at the end?

  2. Thank you for your Strength and Abundance Julie
    Accepting the Emptiness of it All feels like Freedom, but Scary!

    1. I appreciated the spartan clarity of your story and admire the process you went through to reach such totally healthy – and, I think, accurate conclusions. But just for a contrarian moment I thought, why not blame yourself, recognize you’re not really all that good and that you should do a major overhaul of your entire life and mindset? But that just made me laugh. There’s no reason to enter any such an always inconclusive hall of mirrors. Rather, grab the issue by the throat, do what it takes to find out what you want to know, draw sensible conclusions, and move on. Just what you did. Woof!

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