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How does your soul grow?

In Insight and Experience by LivingNowLeave a Comment

By Ezio and Michelle De Angelis….

These four insights from those who have lived, died and come back to teach us stress the importance of life, love, forgiveness and second chances – and that is what the cycle of life is really all about.


Spiritualists have long held the view that the existence of the human soul is continuous and its journey remains unbroken despite the apparent disruption caused by a little thing called death. This is not meant to trivialise the enormous impact of grief and the time it takes to recover from the loss of a cherished loved one. It’s meant to give people some hope that we will see one another again at some stage. Death is not permanent… life is!

This can be a powerful, comforting and healing realisation for those who grieve. As working mediums, we are frequently blessed with the opportunity to learn from those who have lived, died and come back to share their experiences. From our perspective, this is real knowledge because it comes directly from the locals. And everyone knows… local knowledge is often the best. Here are a four things we have learnt along the way:

1. The before life and after life are the same place

It’s not unusual for a person in spirit to describe the personality and physical characteristics of a child about to be born into its earthly family. And it’s even more common for young children to mimic the mannerisms of grandparents they never met in the physical world. This is because the place we come from before being born and the place we go to after we die is one and the same.

When we die, not only do we meet up with loved ones that crossed over before us, but we meet and get to spend time with the spirit of family members yet to be physically born! Imagine that the portal between our physical world and the unseen world of spirit is like a rotating door in an exclusive city hotel. One person can enter at the same time as one exits but there are many opportunities to stand in the foyer and have a chat; get to know one another.

2. We arrive with a plan

Once, during a private reading, a baby being carried in its mother’s womb made contact and protested at the name his parents were considering for him! Apparently the child spirit felt so strongly about the name choice that it decided to intervene. On another occasion, a baby spirit came through during a public presentation and told her father that she would be all right – so not to worry. This confused her future dad as all the pre-natal scans his wife had taken showed there was no reason for concern. A few weeks later, the man’s wife started bleeding heavily during the pregnancy and they thought the baby was lost. They are now proud parents of a beautiful baby girl.

Such connections teach us that there is indeed some planning and foreknowledge of the life that a new soul will be part of when it eventually arrives on earth. Otherwise, how would the unborn spirit child know where to go so it would be heard?

Yet despite the evidence that we each possess a spiritual itinerary or blueprint for our life on earth, almost every spirit we have ever encountered tells us that there were many situations in their previous life that they felt they might have handled better or made better choices.

This suggests that while some things such as our birth and other major milestones are set in concrete, there is enough scope to try new things and make a few mistakes along the way. We might well have a spiritual plan for the broad pattern of the life we will lead, but we have plenty of freewill to make it better.

3. Love never dies

This might sound harsh but the life we just left behind ceases to be our concern after we die. The trials and tribulations of our previous earthly struggle seem to fade away when we are snugly cocooned in the warmth of eternity. Yet the love we feel for those with whom we shared physical life remains as strong as ever.

The big lesson is that all suffering… no matter how deep or painful… is temporary. Only the power of love is everlasting. As Patrick Swayze’s character said in the movie Ghost, “The love inside you? You take it with you.” Love transcends life and death and becomes the only reality worth having in the afterlife because it is the only reality that makes us grow.

If you think about it, love becomes the only reality worth having here too.

4. The doors of heaven and hell are always open

The hell depicted in religious warnings does not exist. There is no pit of fiery banishment ruled over by a hateful Devil. But there are states of torment brought about by guilt, illness, actions, regret, drugs, excessive alcohol or any other number of low level emotions and activities. Hell is not a place that one goes to when one dies but rather a state that one’s mind inhabits when physical or emotional distress is the prevailing energy.

That turmoil however, exists as much here on earth as it does in the spirit world. Here if your conscience ails you due to some horrible act you perpetrated on another person, the torment is enough to banish you into your own private hell. Many of us well know this state of mind. It affects your ability to experience joy and love. It is the same in the spirit world.

A few years ago, we connected to a spirit named ‘Mark’ who had taken his own life because he could not live with the guilt of killing a young girl at a school crossing while driving under the influence of marijuana. He came through in that reading for his sister ‘Karen’ who was not only distressed at the death of the young girl, but also the death of her brother and the effect it had on their entire network of family and friends. Karen described her situation as a living hell. It was an accurate description.

Although Mark was ‘dead’ and Karen was not, both were in a state of emotional hell, but neither had to stay there for eternity because life on both sides of the veil isn’t like that.

By helping both Mark in the spirit world and his sister Karen here on earth understand that, we helped open a door that let in the tiniest ray of forgiveness and self-love. This gave them both a choice. The door to hell that both felt was permanently locked behind them swung open and healing began in earnest.

These four insights from those who have lived, died and come back to teach us are not the only ones we have gleaned, but they are a good starting point because they stress the importance of life, love, forgiveness and second chances – and that is what the cycle of life is really all about.


Michelle and Ezio De Angelis are spiritual mediums and teachers living in Sydney and working throughout Australia. Their book, Postcards from the Other Side – True Stories of the Afterlife, is available in all good bookshops, through Allen and Unwin publishers.

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