Heart shaped wooden ornaments

I have known love

In Insight and Experience by Carmel BellLeave a Comment

Dear Heart,

It has been a long journey to this point in my life. I’ve traversed arid deserts, sailed both calm and storm-wracked seas, wandered through jungles, fought zombies, run with werewolves, ridden with bikies, drunk with Irishmen in wild Irish pubs, kissed the Blarney Stone, danced with Scots in kilts, eaten haggis and porridge soaked in Scotch. I have debated with Germans, eaten pizza in Washington DC, buried loved ones, raised children and watched them leave me, and drunk coffee with people that I both loved and was afraid of. I have crashed a plane, crashed a car, crashed a bike. Crashed me. What an extraordinary life you have helped me to live.

Yet the most frightening thing has been to trust you.My heart.

My centre.

My being.

The place where hopes, dreams, nightmares, fear, anger, gratitude, memories, forgetfulness and so much more resides.

I have warmed hearts, cooled hearts, given up, given in, rebounded and renounced. I have railed, rallied, blessed and cursed and sometimes all of these in less than the length of one breath.

Yet every moment – every single moment – you have held true. You have guarded my secrets, warned me of my foibles, alerted me to take notice and sometimes I listened; sometimes I didn’t.

There is one moment that stays with me. It has travelled with me, Heart, since the moment it happened. It has kept me true, brave, resilient and determined. This moment has sometimes filled me with grief and fear, despair and sorrow. This moment has given me thousands of moments when I wanted to live and a few when I wanted to die.

I have known fear. I still know fear. But it is not a lack of fear that makes me brave. It is being afraid and still trusting in the organ that beats in my chest, contains more neurons than the brain and holds all the memories of every single moment.

It is the organ that is not the storage house but is the indefinable soul. It is you, Heart.

Heart, I will do my best to listen to you more. I will trust that when I do not understand, you do. That when I cannot see the water beneath the desert, the rocks beneath the waves, you know that they are there and that I need to be blindsided for some reason. I will trust that when it hurts too much to breathe you still trust me and you will guide me through the winding back streets of my life, which are far more complicated than the backstreets of Bath.

Every moment matters.

I will trust that you will lead from that one perfect moment to the next perfect moment and will keep me strong in between.

I trust that every one who reads this will also find that the perfect moment they seek has already happened and will happen again.

They need to trust, put on their hiking boots and take a wander through the jungle of their life.

Blessings, Heart.

May you have the luck of the Irish, the gift of the Blarney and an elbow ready to bend with a Guinness.

 

Carmel’s book, ‘When all else fails’, telling of how she foresaw her death and that she would be revived and then able to heal herself, is the subscription prize this month. 

A self-taught medical intuitive, Carmel is a highly sought after international speaker and teacher of  medical intuition. Carmel is the president of the Australian Medical Intuitives Association and Founder and Principal of the College of Medical Intuition as well as being on the Board of the International Medical Intuitives Association.

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