Elizabeth Jewell answers questions about being in business a a ‘woman-entrepreneur-spiritseeker’.
Susie, feeling desperate and fearful, wrote to me with not so much a specific question but a sad statement of her affairs, “I trust and act as if, but now when I think I have depleted all, with nothing to fall back on – and responsibilities – it is very scary. My quiet clinic the past two months has been the final clincher.”
From my experience there will be a way through. For me, it has come little by little. I’ve been plodding for ages, sometimes taking one step forward and two backward. I kept hoping for some sort of huge rush and breakthrough, but it didn’t happen. Only today I wrote in my personal journal that the pins are now finally all lined up and that I think I can see the way through, but, to get to this point, I had to ‘speak to Spirit’ and agree to totally trust each step. I couldn’t do that for ages because I thought it might mean that I was agreeing to something that I didn’t want to happen, something scary like losing the magazine, and I was not prepared to do that.
I was fighting with myself for so long – wondering if it was only ego that was stopping me from throwing in the towel when things got really bad last year. Certainly people around me were saying this, and one very spiritual person for whom I have a lot of respect advised that I had so many signs to give in, but I would not, and therefore it must be ego. I was not convinced that they were signs to give in – they were scary, but they were just signs that I hadn’t got it right yet, hadn’t seen the way through. My intuition said it was more than ego, but I was confused by my circumstances and my would-be mentors. It’s hard to fly in the face of advice that well-meaning people offer, and sometimes they would get really offended with me if I wouldn’t agree. However, one day I suddenly realised a few things:
1. I’d skirted really close to this edge previously, and quite a lot of times, since magazine publishing is a tricky business – and in this niche even more so, just because lots of people think they either don’t need to promote themselves at all, or else they expect to spend $100 and then God will send a stream of people to their door forever more – either way it does not help to pay the hundreds of thousands of dollars to the printer each year. Hence over two decades God had had many opportunities to push me over the edge, but each time I was saved, and probably many other times too when I didn’t know how close I was. So I used my logic and figured that therefore Spirit wanted me to do this job, and the magazine was wanted. Well, theoretically, that could have changed over the years, but I figured I’d take it as a given that it had not changed. Therefore, the premise I could work on was that I was not going to be pushed and I therefore just had to make the business work somehow.
2. I was given a very determined nature in this life. Spirit knows this. This is one of my strong points (and weak ones too – isn’t it funny the way our strong points are also our weaknesses?). Anyway, this being a large part of what I bring to the table, why would the Universe expect me to give in? I told people who were urging me to give in last year that it was the same as asking me to put my head on the chopping block, and that I was not going to do that willingly, and God knew that too. Therefore there had to be a different answer.
3. Using my logic again, mixed with an inner feeling, perhaps knowing, about my future, I reasoned this way: if I had closed the doors I’d have been a penniless, out-of-work 63-year-old (with huge debts). Again that seemed a stupid position in which to place myself intentionally. Because of the inner inkling about my future, not only was it a stupid move, but it flew in the face of what I signed up to do. Mind you, it would be perfectly easy if I was totally positive about my future, but, as you know, these inner feelings cannot really be proven until after the fact, and I guess that’s one of the fascinating things about life on this physical plane. Interestingly, I had well-meaning people telling me things like, ‘Maybe this (an out-of-work me) is what your future is; maybe you’re meant to experience that scenario!’
4. The final step was therefore to say to Spirit – I have been supported by you so far, I know that you want me to succeed, I cannot turn this business around by myself – so I trust, totally trust now, and will go step by step until I am led to the clearing in the forest.
What happened next? Well, it’s still happening I’m excited to say. I found much more opening up to me. It was as though everyone ‘upstairs’ said, ‘Well thank God she’s finally agreed. It only took her 20 years. Now we can give her lots of extra props and clues.’
Good things have been really piled on and, despite the fact that, because of my work schedule, I rarely have time to let things brew, my thinking has opened up and I’ve had many gifts and realisations. I see synchronicity working even better in my life, I feel more loving toward everyone and myself. I am now comfortable that I don’t have to worry about the future. This is not to say that I am a peaceful goddess every day – far from it – I’m human and that means I have to deal with ‘reality’ and all the challenges that offers us all
Last month, and this one as well, we’ve published a 32-page magazine because the income is lower than for many years. Previously I’d have been almost hysterical about that, but I’m taking it in my stride and not at all fazed. To be honest, I’m able to enjoy the job more now that it is smaller. I am absolutely positive that Spirit is looking after all our needs and I eagerly wait to see what opens up each day and where we’re headed. As I mentioned in the first paragraph, all the pins are lined up for a new development, but still within the magazine. This is something which I got a bee in my bonnet about two years ago. I took a few steps, but it was not right then and so I shelved it, but always ‘knew’ it would happen one day. Then I took more steps a few months ago and got past first base but then it stalled again. Suddenly now – wow! It is premature to mention details now, but watch this space.
As far as your business is concerned Susie, if you are in the right place, doing the right work, then maybe you have one little adjustment to make in your attitude like I did. However, are you being shown that you need to take a small detour or even a large change in direction? I can see now why I have been stopped in my tracks many times over the last couple of decades. At the time I thought they were just frustrating dead-ends, but I realise that, had some of the initiatives worked, I’d have ended up on the wrong track.
Use your natural talents and skills to assess your situation logically – and check if you’ve given Spirit your total trust.
Elizabeth Jewell is the editor of LivingNow and the author of ‘Seven Angels Helped Me – They’ll Help You Too’, available for $30 including P&H. Phone 1300 730 326 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Share this post