When women embody their feminine qualities of radiance and ‘love-light’ they are irresistible to the masculine. When men live from the truth of their deepest purpose they are super attractive to women.
We are given a preview of this magnetic polarity when we first fall in love with the erotic ‘other’, but sustaining it through the intimacies of modern marriage requires learning and cultivating the art of loving. Our society isn’t helpful in this regard – it promotes a post-feminist, dispassionate equality between men and women that is great for the boardroom but not for the bedroom.
This current trend of neutrality between the sexes denies our deeper desires for feminine surrender to masculine direction, a flowering of shakti energy in the presence of man’s trustable depth. Imagine a culture of recognition and encouragement of the feminine and masculine, synergistically combining our different powers to create a magical expansion of life and love.
The essential masculine gifts of freedom, presence, guidance and depth of consciousness are currently clouded with suspicion and confusion as being dominating or macho. Yet there is a very big difference between the self-serving masculine who needs to control and the evolved masculine who has a noble desire to lead and serve others. A lack of recognition of the true masculine is giving many men a sense of impotency while women get stronger in their masculine achievements.
The feminine gifts of women are so alive and so ready to flow into the world, yet many women are hiding their beauty in the fear of ‘not being good enough’, or of being ‘too much’ if they let their love shine. The evolved feminine embraces the fullness of life and is loving, feeling, flowing, creative, devotional, earthy and at times fiercely inspiring.
Yet how can we apply this knowledge in our daily lives? Around the year 2000 I met and studied with teachers David Deida and Sofia Diaz. This changed my life. I discovered that we are deeply nurtured and enlivened by embodying our sexual essence of either masculine or feminine orientation. This is not to say that we must play out a role, or always be a certain way, but to have a choice is liberating.
The ways in which we can develop these abilities are varied and creative. I would like to share with you some tried and proven tips of polarised relating– some practical applications for life situations.
The long term couple – how to keep the passion alive
Polarity increases when there is more distance and mystery; so being together all the time will decrease the magnetism of the partners. So take time apart, do things without your partner, don’t always know what the other person is doing. This is something to experiment with and find out what creates more polarity between you. Some couples find that having separate bedrooms, or households, is more alluring than sleeping together every night. For others this would be too separating and they want the intimacy of a shared bedroom. However, intimacy doesn’t necessarily create passionate love for which we need both safety and surprise.
In the domestic arena knowing how to communicate your needs is the key – the masculine responds to sensory information not direction from his partner. “Honey this smells really bad”, works a lot better than, “Take the garbage out!” This is not manipulation. It is inspired communication that is grounded in the knowledge and honouring of the differences between men and women.
When a man can find humour in the midst of life’s ‘moments’ he demonstrates his freedom to a woman – not trivialising what is important, but being able to let it all go will have a positive impact on a relationship… she will be impressed by his ability to be the rock in the storm.
Partner’s parenting – differences that work
Understanding and honouring the differences between masculine and feminine helps us be better parents. Mothers tend to calm their children down in play, while fathers excite and stimulate, which makes the children better able to manage high energy situations as they grow up. Children need both styles to flourish – so if you are a single parent, rather than trying to be both mother and father to your children, why not arrange for your children to play with trusted relatives or adult friends who can easily offer their essence?
Knowing that devotion to his mission and goals is an essential masculine desire will help you understand your boys, while accepting the feminine spiritual need for appreciation of her beauty, being truly seen as the light she is, allows your daughter to have wonderful self esteem as she grows into a loving woman.
Partnership in business together
This is a challenge, as the lines are being blurred constantly between work and intimacy. Creating separation between the two occasionally is essential. For example if you have business calls together don’t mix them up with personal calls. Do the business call, which requires you both to be in your masculine, then hang up and call back for the personal call where you can be in the play of man and woman. This applies for couples that don’t work together too, as most relationships have organisational needs.
Commit to 30-second ‘love zings’ where you play together as soon as you both get home, or as soon as you shut the office door. He might pick her up and swoon her, or twirl her around in a dance, immediately taking her into her feminine, or if he feels that wouldn’t work, he can take a load off her shoulders by carrying the bags and guide her towards the bath. She can remind him of why he takes on the burdens of life by offering him devotional sensual touch, being playful or open-heartedly letting him be vulnerable.
Singles – dating
What works to attract the partner you want is being true to your essence and showing that to a potential partner. He isn’t looking for a colleague or a biz partner, he’s looking for the way she moves him both physically and emotionally; his chosen feminine love force that will make him happier and more successful in life. She’s not looking for a girlfriend or a pleaser; she’s looking for a trustable masculine presence that can love and swoon her open and help guide her to greater fulfillment in her life.
Taking the risk to let your date see this side of you can be scary but it’s also fun.
Singles – internet dating
This is the same as any other dating. Shine out who you are in your profile and you will attract the right people to you. For her, that means advertising your heart, not your bank balance or academic achievements, and for him it means being on a mission, showing what you believe in and where you are able to take a woman.
This is the tip of the iceberg. Cultivating the art of love and polarity is a lifetime learning – one that brings wonderful rewards. It affects your love relationships, your children, colleagues, friends and even your pets. Living love from our masculine and feminine essence is the root of a harmonious vibrant society.
Cynthia Connop is the creator of the Living Love workshop program. She has been exploring transformational work for over 25 years, in many modalities. She is an educator, facilitator, international documentary filmmaker, mentor and counsellor. Her films have been screened on national and international television, and include ‘Sacred Sex’ and ‘Spirit Sex Love’ about David Deida. Cynthia is also a licensed Avatar™ master and devoted to co-creating an awakened, loving world.
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