Contributions from the LivingNow community
LET’S HONOUR OUR MEN!
It’s time we supported men to thrive (and flourish) in all areas of their lives, allowing them to be vulnerable, honouring their strength, appreciating their contribution.
I see relationships suffer when men aren’t given the space to express their desires, when their love and care isn’t received and when their efforts aren’t appreciated. Relationships thrive when women are strong enough in themselves to express desire, love and appreciation for the men in their lives.
Let’s honour our men!
––– Isiah McKimmie, Couples Therapist and Sexologist, Sydney NSW
MENTORS & FRIENDS
Most of the key positive contributors and supporters in my career have been men. They showed empathy when I needed it, faith and belief in me when I doubted myself, and were prepared to impart wisdom and knowledge to support my learning and growth in my field. Men have helped shape the direction of my career and my development as a person. They have been my mentors, beside me “in the trenches”, and become my friends.
Now I see them being pushed aside to some extent. We all feel the stress of juggling multiple aspects of our lives in an ever increasing hectic spiral. Yet men are at somewhat of a disadvantage because of the cultural pressure that says that showing emotion and empathy is weak.
Supporting men to thrive in a way that supports them to develop and grow is very important to me, their families, the workplace, society.
––– Jennylee Taylor, Charlestown NSW
NO OTHER WAY
At 47, I’m finally beginning to get this.
For me to thrive, I need all men to thrive – and all the women too. I need all the parents & children, grandparents & grandchildren, brothers & sisters and uncles & aunties of every nation on the planet to be thriving together as one. I cannot thrive if those around me aren’t – no matter how different or how far away they may be.
And I need to know that every generation to come will be free to thrive in their time – not just the humans, but every creature & all the inhabitants of the Earth. And I need the Earth to be thriving too. There’s no other way.
––– Richmond Heath, Don Valley, VIC
Now that I’m in my 40s, I’ve come to live by the motto: live your life, so that you don’t have to hide your diary. 🙂
––– Aaron Hughes, Craigieburn, VIC
THE WHOLESOME MASCULINE
Men’s thrivability is the rarest of flowers that blossoms. My soul incarnated for it. I know my parents wished for it. My marriage demands of it. And my future children and my community will depend on it. Yet in our culture it’s hard to find male figures to mentor me into it. My education didn’t teach me it. And I find the modern workplace not only doesn’t foster this; it is bafflingly hostile to it. Here the old mantra remains that ‘only through my shadow can I succeed’.
My gold is not welcomed. Despite all these hurdles, what remains eternally available to me are the archetypes of the wholesome masculine – the original blueprints as it were. By working with these blueprints I may teach myself into thrivability. This sounds abstract but, through organisations like the Mankind Project, I am finding the tools to make this concrete.
––– Richard Moseley, Margaret River, WA
HIS BEAUTIFUL GIFT
Lately I find myself saying to my man “Who are you and what have you done with my husband?” We’ve been married 21 years and he seems to surprise and delight me more every day. I’m not sure if it’s about being 48 years mature, or if it’s about the complex and interweaving life situations we’ve shared.
Perhaps it’s because he’s taking the time to explore who he really is and wants to be. Maybe some of my self–help, self–talk dialog has rubbed off on him. It could be the hours and hours of philosophical and spiritual wonders we’ve chewed over, or maybe I’ve finally got out of the way and let him be him.
Whatever is going on, one thing is certain, he’s thriving, growing into the man he is intended to be, and myself along with the rest of the world, are the recipients of his beautiful gift.
––– Merelyn Carter, Kinglake, VIC
Men thrive when they embrace their softer side, that includes: their intuition, their gentleness in the face of aggression and when they allow their interior world to balance their exterior expression. This is not about emasculating the male archetype, on the contrary, it’s about becoming whole. The word ‘whole’ is related to holy and means healthy, entire and complete.
Everyone wins when we have more ‘whole ‘ people in the world and that applies to females who’ve integrated their masculine energy as well. Our cultures are strong and rich when we accommodate and celebrate our differences rather than condemning them.
––– Alex Hawthorne, Vaucluse, NSW
IT’S DIFFERENT NOW
I feel with women becoming ‘stronger’ – we are doing so at the expense of Men! They used to know their role as providers and ‘fixers’ but now women can and do these themselves. And men were the wooers but women decide what they want and pursue him instead. Nothing is lost, it is just different now…
I think Men have to be gentle with themselves as they evolve to the new roles of being equal partners in child-raring and providing for the family or even to being total caregivers if they choose to be. We are becoming more equal even though men are usually stronger physically.
It is more about being comfortable in the skin you are in – finding ways to express your passions, skills and being happy to share the journey with women (who need to do likewise).
––– Kay Hughes, Capalaba, QLD
I do believe that there are good men out there who are caring, loving, helpful, romantic, respect women, are supportive and understanding towards women, their wives, girlfriends, sisters, mothers, and women in general. It’s important for men to be their best because they need to take care of their families and be a good person to gain people’s respect and to make their parents proud of them.
Women are often having bad experiences with men. However this is life and we can’t paint everyone with the same brush! Because good men do exist. I firmly believe this. I see it in the men I’ve met in my life. A lot of responsibility falls onto men who have to care for others/families and they do show kindness, compassion and love towards women. Men deserve respect from women as they have feelings as well.
––– Marion Julius, TAS
INTEGRATING THE FEMININE
A man who has not integrated his inner feminine will often strive to prove how manly he is by trying to deny his feminine. This creates imbalance and an unconscious dependency on others to process his psyche and emotional states.
In relationships this results in his partner feeling like his mother, which kills her desire for him as a woman. This is why men in the ancient world were initiated into the feminine wisdom teachings prior to marriage. This rite of passage to become whole – a king – was called the Holy Grail.
––– Tanishka, The Moon Woman, Olinda, VIC