Falling dominoes

Self-sabotage stalls success

In Coaching, Counselling and Personal Development by Alison BeatyLeave a Comment

Practical steps for you to overcome self-sabotaging behaviour and thoughts, and to become more confident and capable as you strive for your goals.


Do you self-sabotage?

Do you procrastinate? Over-think things? Lack self-belief? Do you find all the excuses under the sun to stay right where you are, rather than push yourself to where you really want to be?

If you answered yes to any, or all, of the above, then like many of us, you self-sabotage.

Self-sabotaging is a process that protects us from change, even when change is exactly what we want or need. It’s our subconscious stepping in and making sure we stay right where we are, so that our status-quo remains in balance, and we don’t put ourselves in the way of what the subconscious sees as potential danger – the unknown outcome of the change we desire.

The trick is to challenge the beliefs that hold us in place, calm the anxiety or fear we feel, and ignore the noisy, negative voice in our heads telling us we cannot do/have/be, what it is we want.

Overcoming self-sabotaging behaviour

When it comes to the workings of the mind, what sounds simple on paper can be a little more challenging in real life. But there are practical steps you can take to overcome self-sabotaging behaviour and thoughts, and become more confident and capable as you strive for your goals.

Mindful meditation

To manage anxiety, learn meditation techniques and practise them every day. Meditating brings you right into the here and now, and away from the constant ‘what if…’ scenarios the mind often keeps replaying.

Utilise the mindful techniques of living in the present when you feel anxiety rising: a few slow deep breaths and noticing what you can see, hear, feel, taste and smell will help you stay grounded.

Hypnotic results

Hypnosis is also a wonderful way to overcome what’s holding you back. Some people are nervous about hypnosis, or believe they can’t be put into a hypnotic trance. The truth is anyone can decide not to do something, including go into trance, but we all actually go into trance several times a day. We just don’t realise it. It’s a normal part of our daily life, nothing strange or mystical; except what it allows is for us to access our subconscious mind, bypassing our judgmental conscious mind, and thus lay the foundations for the changes we desire.

Change your mind

Your mind creates the world you live in, and it can be improved simply by changing your mind. Remember that beliefs are not necessarily true, and can be challenged and changed as we learn more. Think of something you used to believe in as a child that you no longer believe. An example that always makes me smile is of my daughter, who once believed babysitters were people who went around sitting on babies!

And that negative voice in your head? Challenge what it says. Look around and find examples of people who have done exactly what you want to do, and succeeded.

Finally, remind yourself that change starts with the first step, and then take it! Good luck!


Alison began her working life as a registered psychiatric nurse before moving into hypnosis, life coaching, reiki healing and writing. She lives in West End, Brisbane, and works with clients from around the globe. www.transformyourlifecoaching.life

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