Unsuspected heroes among us

In Insight and Experience by Barry VissellLeave a Comment

There is the potential for a hero and a friend within each person we meet. We are all God’s precious children.

Lessons from my family

In 1960 I was 14 years old and my mother was the first civil rights activist that I knew. She did not march the streets, she lived her beliefs. She had African Americans, Muslims, people from the gay community, and other minorities over to our house for dinner almost every Sunday and treated them all with the greatest respect and honour like they were part of her family. My mom spoke up loudly if anyone said anything against one of these minorities. She often coached me, “Joyce, remember every person is a child of God. It does not matter what colour their skin or their religion. Our God loves them all the same.” This love of humanity and human rights is something that my mother has passed onto me; one of the many gifts I have received being her daughter. In this way, she was one of my heroes.

During this same year, there was a crisis for one of my uncles. He and his family lived close to us in Buffalo, New York, in a quiet, simple, middle class neighbourhood. He learned that a black family was going to move into the neighbourhood, about ten houses down from his. My uncle was livid, and complained bitterly to anyone who would listen. He felt it would ruin his neighbourhood and make it unsafe for his children, as well as bring down the value of his home. He spent great time and effort visiting every single neighbour and explaining the terrible result that would happen if this family moved in. Determined, he gathered signatures. If a neighbour did not want to sign his petition; he repeatedly went back to that house until they did sign.

After much time and effort, he was ready to go the house of this black family and give them the petition. He got dressed in a suit and ties and, armed with pages of signatures, went to the house and rang the bell. A very large, powerfully built black man answered the door. My uncle quickly hid the petition behind his back and held out his hand to welcome the man. You see, this man was my uncle’s hero on the Buffalo Bills football team.

Surprising heroes

Several years ago at our Hawaii couples retreat there was a man, who I will call Joe, who looked with disdain at the local people who lived in the area. Joe was a CEO of a large company on the mainland who often described himself as ‘a very important man,’ and felt that these ‘hippies’ were lazy and worthless. Many of these locals had long, unruly hair, colourful clothing, and were typically gathered at the beach drumming, dancing, juggling, or fire spinning. Joe spoke often about how much he disliked them, even though he hardly ever saw them and had no idea what they did when they were not at the beach.

One day Joe went to the beach alone without any of our group. There is a steep trail that must be climbed down to get to the beach. It is not necessarily dangerous, but one needed to be careful. When it was time for Joe to leave the beach, he started climbing the trail but slipped and fell, dislocating his knee. Joe lay there helpless and in enormous pain.

Very soon, one of these ‘good-for-nothing locals’ spotted him lying there and ran to help. When this long-haired young man discovered the extent of Joe’s injury, he ran to get his friends and together the men carried him all the way to the top of the cliff, which was quite a journey, especially carrying someone in pain.

They put Joe in a car and drove him all the way back to the retreat centre, helped him into his bed and then notified the retreat centre that he was hurt. Fortunately, one of our group members was an emergency room physician and pulled Joe’s knee back into position again. Joe was deeply humbled and to our whole group he stated, “I have been so wrong in judging these locals just because of their hair and lifestyle choices. When I really needed heroes, they stepped in and helped me.”

We are all God’s precious children

When my mother was 87, three years before she died, she lived in a little apartment above our garage. She believed in exercise, and each day when it was not raining, she drove her little car to the beach and walked along the sidewalk. At that time at Rio del Mar beach, there was a group of homeless men who would sit on the wall at the entrance to the beach. These men sat there all day and talked together. My mother learned their names and each day would stop and talk with them. Soon they asked her if she would like to sit on the wall with them and she gladly accepted, sitting with them for maybe a half hour each day. She liked them very much and truly enjoyed their company. After a few months, they asked her if she would like to be an official member of the ‘Wall Sitters’ Club’. My mother accepted and felt it was an honour to be included in their conversations.

One day as my mother was laughing with the men some ladies from her church walked by. The ladies were shocked to see my mother there, and even though she wanted to introduce them, the ladies rushed on by. Later that day my mother received a call from one of the ladies who said, “Louise, you must be careful and you should not sit on the wall with those men. They are homeless and could cause danger to you.” My mother replied, “I trust that God loves them just as much as He loves you and me. Those men have given me the gift of their friendship and I am giving it back”.

There is the potential for a heroes and friends within everyone we meet, regardless of the colour of their skin, their religion, their sexual orientation or the fact that they are a minority. We are all God’s precious children.

 

Here are a few opportunities to bring more love and growth into your life, at the following longer events led by Barry and Joyce Vissell:

 Jul 16-21 Shared Heart Summer Retreat at Breitenbush Hot Springs, OR

Oct 11-17 — Assisi Retreat, Italy

 

About the Author
Barry Vissell

Barry Vissell

Barry Vissell is a psychiatrist and counsellor near Santa Cruz, CA. He is widely regarded as among the world's top experts on conscious relationship and personal growth. He is a coauthor of The Shared Heart, Models of Love, Risk to Be Healed, The Heart’s Wisdom, Meant to Be, and A Mother’s Final Gift.

 

 

 

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