I am in a dark and hot place and it does not feel pleasant. I know my body will have a thin film of perspiration all over it, particularly around the neck. The thing is, I have left my body a long way away, in a place we usually believe is our primary reality. Today things are different.
It takes me a few moments to acclimatise. It’s stinking hot. I could be close to a bushfire or a furnace. The ground around me is rough and dry, a dusty, rocky, level surface. Next to me I can see my client. If I am feeling warm and apprehensive, she must be feeling hot and terrified.
In front of us is a huge dark form, hard to make out at first, but definitely not friendly, definitely not human and definitely not alone. Things are not looking good and we are just at the start of our journey together.
Hoping that she won’t collapse into utter, unmanageable fear and total vulnerability, I wait patiently for her to notice that I am standing right next to her. I hope she won’t start screaming. We have had enough complaints from the neighbours back on Earth, and my shop lease is up for renewal.
I am mindful that I should not control this situation too much, although, to some extent, I am capable of manipulating the reality around us to suit my purposes. It is important that my client overcome the challenges before her of her own free will and without too much interference from me.
If I intercede too much I will get involved in her karma. Not a good idea, as I have enough on my own plate right now, thank you very much.
I know my client is beginning to access levels of fear which are way beyond her experience or expectations. I am alert and ready for action. I have trained myself to deal with fear as a companion, one that makes me alert but does not control me.
My client notices me. “Fuck, I am shit scared”, she mouths as she stares wide-eyed at the apparitions surrounding her which she has suddenly seen clearly for the first time.
I telepath her, That’s three negative power words in one very powerful sentence. Couldn’t we just play safe, remove the negatives and stick with ‘I AM’?
Feeding off her fear, the being in front of her has grown in stature and is materialising into a fully formed, red eyed, horned and salivating demon of the aggressive variety (not that there are many others). It reaches forward and grabs her solar plexus and starts squeezing and twisting it with its dark claws.
It is laughing at her.
This is all moving far too quickly for my liking. I need to create time to think.
I know back on the physical plane, right now, my client is squirming and writhing in pain on the futon next to mine. I trust my assistant is doing as she promised and looking in on the session. For once I hope my little shop is not too busy.
Tell it how beautiful it is, I suggest.
“What? You are jo…”. Her sentence is cut short as the being in front of her uses its other hand to claw deeply into her side. She starts moaning. I hope it’s not too loud.
I need to take control. Say after me, ‘Beray sheet eyer esher eyer, beray sheet eyer esher eyer’.
She gasps the affirmation out loud and for one short moment the being in front of her hesitates, totally dumbfounded.
In this moment I have a chance to collect my thoughts.
My client had been referred to me by a student. Offering discounted practice sessions to gain experience, she was attracting people in need and who were short of cash. The woman next to me had come to her in great physical pain – pain which several doctors were unable to diagnose or treat with any success.
She was an initiate of an international religious group who did good work feeding the needy and offering them support. She had reached the rank of temple priestess and was respected in her community. She was authorised to create and lead ceremony and had become a high priestess.
She was devout, chanting and praying from the early hours each morning, immersing herself totally in her practice. Yet, despite her good work and practices, she was coming under massive psychic attack.
In her session with my student it became obvious that she was being attacked by powerful non-physical beings who meant to do her great harm. She was referred to me.
When she arrived for her session she was in so much pain she could barely walk, supported either side by two novice priestesses. Her hands were cramping up like claws and her back and legs convulsing with muscle spasms.
She had come for a shamanic journey with me in which she might see exactly what was happening to her. I had already prepared a clear and sacred space for the journey. I had travelled this route a thousand times before. As we lay down next to each other I looked over at her for the tell-tale signs of deep trance. She closed her eyes and they rolled back, leaving only the whites of her eyes visible through her rapidly fluttering lids.
Deliberately opening a portal through which we could step into no-time-space and hence into all-time-space, I closed my eyes. We both slipped into an altered state of consciousness easily, allowing the mandala of crystals that surrounded us to do its work.
I joined her immediately, but the speed and ferocity of the attack took me unawares. We did not arrive where I expected and I was in danger of becoming fearful myself. I needed to buy time.
Ask it what it wants
To destroy me.
Because I am weak, because it can, because it gives it pleasure…
When did you give it permission to be here?
There is always permission – when?
I see myself carrying out ritual and ceremony, I am in training. My teacher is not being totally honest with me. I am making promises in a language I do not understand. This is the moment I gave permission.
Okay, tell it not to be afraid of you
“Don’t be afr…”
The great beast’s laughter is deafening. It claws and wrenches at my client, and its smaller friends in the shadows move forward to join in. My client is in torment, and I know by now that the neighbours will be making a note to call my landlord. Again.
I reluctantly step forward, closer to my client. The violet white light that surrounds me buzzes and hums with a focussed life force, for now I am containing the energy into a bubble that surrounds my body, for about a metre. It pushes the smaller ones back into the shadows, but not the big one. It still has tight hold of my client and will not be distracted by me, or my light.
Say again out loud, ‘Don’t be afraid. I promise not to hurt you.’
I know my client is in agony and I will her to ride it out.
‘This pain is an illusion. It has no power over me’. Say it.
She repeats the affirmation out loud and it is like a red rag to a bull. We both sense this being’s thought-forms, How dare you challenge me!
This being has probably not been challenged for eons. It is used to getting its own way. I am deliberately trying to cause it confusion. It is enraged, but beneath that there is the tiniest twinge of doubt. This is our leverage, our way in.
It directs its attention towards me. I am ready, but I do not intend to harm you.
And I am ready. I have quietly called in my power, I am centred and ready for anything. The time I bought a few moments ago has served me well. I am ready to experience whatever this thing has to offer, without rising to its bait of becoming angry, or worse, and far more dangerous for me, becoming fearful.
It senses my readiness and backs off, focussing again on my client.
>In this moment my client draws strength from me and my actions, she recalls my advice before our journey started, that this could be her true initiation into the priesthood. She had been initiated through ceremony. Now she was to experience her true initiation as a high priestess. It is time to confront her deepest fear. This is her baptism of fire.
You no longer have my permission to be here. Our agreement is dissolved. The contract between us is complete. You may go in peace.
As she repeats this affirmation she starts to believe it. I also sense my assistant back in the physical, looking down on us and smiling. She knows the power of this statement if it is made out loud and from the heart.
Now the great beast is shrinking. Still malevolent, it starts to doubt its tenure, but, it still has hold of my client and is still causing her pain.
In you I see great light. In you I see great beauty. Don’t be afraid of me. I promise not to hurt you. I am not angry with you.
Although still squirming under its steel-like claws, she senses she is beginning to win.
You are beautiful. Don’t you remember how beautiful you are?
Confusion. The demon is genuinely perplexed. My client is gaining strength.
Look inside, tell me what you see…
Even though I have seen it many times, what follows is still beautiful and moving. As my client repeats the affirmation, I know she is up for a life-changing experience.
And so the great beast looks within.
In the pain, sadness and anger that is within it, it senses a spark of light at its core. As it focusses on it, the light expands and becomes a supernova of light that totally envelops it and the surrounding space. We and it are breathless at its own realisation of what it truly is. It is a beautiful being of light. It is an angel, lost and now found.
Go home to light now, take the others with you, go home and find peace, you are forgiven. Go in peace.
It is so joyful it swoops over us and the smaller beings. Its gratitude is palpable. As it leaves, my client’s body completely relaxes and she is pain free. I know by now that she is completely drained, and decide not to take her further into the circumstances surrounding the demon’s contract with her.
I take her through exercises to cleanse, refresh and strengthen her energy bodies and we return to the futons we are lying on, upstairs in my shop.
She is utterly exhausted and tearfully grateful for the session. The acolytes she came with are also tearful and happy at her recovered condition. Not much explanation is needed. I accept payment and she leaves.
I decide not to share all I saw in the journey – the priest who tricked her, his misogyny, and the arrangements he had made for non-physical beings to feed off the energy in the temple for their own ends, and their fear of her growing personal power. That I will leave for another session. When she realises, it is appropriate.
I lie back on my futon and give thanks to the crystals that surround me and the loving non-physical beings who work with me. I feel at peace. I have done my best for my client. She is now and will remain pain free. I feel tired but content – everything in my world is perfect.
My assistant knocks and pops her head around the door of my session room.
“It’s Mrs Jenkins from the tea rooms next door. She wants to have a chat about the screaming she thought she heard coming from your room.”
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